Samurai mime (Michel Courtemanche)

Kissing fish

Forks

McVodka

The back door

Aries Spears does rap impersonation on radio show

DMX, Snoop Dog, and Jay-Z can now just quit, because their services are no longer needed... :D

How to avoid employing unlucky people

How to avoid employing unlucky people: throw half of the pile of CVs in the trash bin without reading them.

What is a bisexual?

A bisexual is a person who reaches down in somebody's pants and is satisfied with whatever they find.

Eskimo vs Priest

Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
Priest: "No, not if you did not know."
Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"

Incredible Little Mech Sculpture

You think you have a problem with squirrels?

Extremely rare contagious disease

The doctor says to his pacient:
"You have a contagious disease that is extremely rare. You will be placed in a separate chamber only for yourself and you will be fed only pizza and pancakes."
"So these will help me get better?"
"No, but these are the only foods that can be passed under the door."

TheRapist

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes... He said: "No hablo ingles".

Garden Gnomes

Top Ten Reasons to Make Gay Marriage Illegal

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. .

Employees on time at work

One employer to another:
"How come your employees are always on time at work?"
"It's easy: I have 30 employees and 20 parking spaces."

The right to waste time at work

The boss asks his secretary:
"Who told you that, just because I kissed you a few times, you have the right to waste all day at work?"
"My lawyer did."

Bible Warning Label

Avian flu

Mandarin Airlines

Communism had won?

If Lenin walked around the offices of a company like Yahoo or Intel or Cisco, he'd think communism had won. Everyone would be wearing the same clothes, have the same kind of office (or rather, cubicle) with the same furnishings, and address one another by their first names instead of by honorifics. Everything would seem exactly as he'd predicted, until he looked at their bank accounts.

I will not throw paper airplanes in class

The Proof of Global Warming

Come to the Dark Side

Mug for The Boss

Traffic in Moscow

Speed Bandits

Winners vs Losers

A winner is always a part of the solution. A loser is always a part of the problem.
A winner has always a plan. A loser has always an excuse.
A winner says "I'll do it for you". A loser says "This is not my job".
A winner finds an answer to every problem. A loser finds a problem to every answer.
A winner says "It may be difficult, but it can be done". A loser says "It may be done, but it's too difficult".